Military Funnies

Racer88 said:
Air Force vs Navy landing:


View: https://x.com/hmcrem/status/1990581560027070770?s=20
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Everytime I see that I'm reminded of my Air Force buddy - he was on Malmstrom when the Air Force and Navy pilots were training together and he said the AF guys would take up well over half the runway before they touched down and the Navy guys would slam down in the first 50 feet then have to throttle up to get to the taxiway šŸ¤£

Give a Navy pilot an 11,500 x 200 foot runway and they don't know what to do with all that realestate šŸ¤£
 
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I'm surprised I forgot to post this. On my ship, the squadrons would sell patches and t-shirts to raise party money. This was my favorite t-shirt (long gone).

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Racer88 said:
Yep. Why my son is happy to be deployed. Marines are frustrated warriors during peace time. Back at "garrison" (home base), they spend most of their time "sweeping sunshine off the sidewalks."
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I've had a number of people work for me over the years. Younger folk usually, eager to learn but not always self-starting. :rolleyes: The first thing I'll show them is how to sweep without creating clouds of dust, then how to use a dustpan and other cleaning tasks. Then I'll say "I didn't hire you to sweep but when you are done doing what I gave you to do, I want to see you sweeping and cleaning. This way I'll notice and then give you something more meaningful and profitable to do."

Introducing another implement I'll say: "This is the Workers Comp Shovel. If you get hurt on the job, I'm going to beat you over the head with it, then bury you with it. Understand?" :D
 
Racer88 said:
Yep. Why my son is happy to be deployed. Marines are frustrated warriors during peace time. Back at "garrison" (home base), they spend most of their time "sweeping sunshine off the sidewalks."
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That was the nice thing about being in Aviation - we were always busy keeping the planes flying. That said, I did get in more trouble when on shore duty then when on sea duty. šŸ¤£
 

Strategy by military branch...​

Marine Corps Rules:​

1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
2. Decide to be aggressive enough, quickly enough.
3. Have a plan.
4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won't work.
5. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet * even your friendsā€¦
6. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not start with a "4."
7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.
8. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral & diagonal preferred.)
9. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.
10. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.
11. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
12. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived.
13. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating your intention to shoot.

Navy SEAL's Rules:​

1. Look very cool in sunglasses.
2. Kill every living thing within view.
3. Adjust speedo.
4. Check hair in mirror.

US Army Rangers Rules:​

1. Walk in 50 miles wearing 75 pound rucksack while starving.
2. Locate individuals requiring killing.
3. Request permission via radio from "Higher" to perform killing.
4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted.
5. Walk out 50 miles wearing a 75 pound rucksack while starving.

US Army Rules:​

1. Curse bitterly when receiving operational order.
2. Make sure there is extra ammo and extra coffee.
3. Curse bitterly.
4. Curse bitterly.
5. Do not listen to 2nd LT's; it can get you killed.
6. Curse bitterly.

US Air Force Rules:​

1. Have a cocktail.
2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner.
3. See what's on HBO.
4. Ask "what is a gunfight?"
5. Request more funding from Congress with a "killer" Power Point presentation.
6. Wine & dine 'key' Congressmen, invite DOD & defense industry executives.
7. Receive funding, set up new command and assemble assets.
8. Declare the assets "strategic" and never deploy them operationally.
9. Hurry to make 13:45 tee-time.
10. Make sure the base is as far as possible from the conflict but close enough to have tax exemption.

US Navy Rules:​

1. Go to Sea.
2. Drink Coffee.
3. Deploy Marines.
 
www.instagram.com

Carma Connor-Marroquin on Instagram: "You expect a handshake. Maybe a nod. Possibly an aggressive hug. What you do not expect is full-send Navy enthusiasm with zero warning and no personal space. One second heā€™s greeting you. The next second youā€™re

3,846 likes, 75 comments - women_warriors_connect on December 17, 2025: "You expect a handshake. Maybe a nod. Possibly an aggressive hug. What you do not expect is full-send Navy enthusiasm with zero warning and no personal space. One second heā€™s greeting you. The next second youā€™re being used...
www.instagram.com www.instagram.com
 
Navy veterans will get it. I don't know if that term "skater" is used in the other branches.

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Funny.... but this is actually true about pilot call signs. The whole "Maverick"... "Iceman" movie thing is bullshit. Pilots' call signs are "bestowed" upon them by their peers, and MOST of the time it's an inside joke or poke at the pilot.


View: https://x.com/washghost1/status/2044465643819327508?s=20

The call signs I remember from my days on the carrier...

"Gurge" - He barfed on a flight in his early days of flight school. re-GURGE-itate.

"Spooge" - I didn't ask! But yeah... that was his official call sign.

"Butkus" - he was the spitting image of Dick Butkus.

"Dish" - his last name was Petri.
 

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